Thursday, November 03, 2005

The one about the wounded man


On Tuesday, I was invited to the premiere of The Dying Gaul, a film based on a play by Craig Lucas. Craig is, I think, one of those brilliant minds you hear spoken of often by academics and the like. I took Synge with me and she was very silent afterward. We both toked about the impact it made on us, but neither could really articulate what it was about. This frustrated me. I knew it affected me, but I couldn't figure out why. It hit me the next day. It is about, among other things, cruelty and compassion and how there is a very fine line that separates the two. I believe that this is true of life and it frightens me. The film also had one of the greatest lines I've heard in quite a while: "Hackers and thieves unlike screenwriters don't have to put their name all over everything." It was a fun night and I got to meet an acting legend, Marian Seldes. My few readers I'm sure don't know who she is. Google her. She is a marvel.

Also on Tuesday I got into a terrible fight with my mother. I have been feeling emotionally fragile as of late and she, as is her way, must inflict her cruelty and manipulation on me. It is a symptom of her own mental illness. I do not want to go into the details of the fight, except to say that I refuse to be emotionally abused by her anymore. Vix and her mother say that's it's a symptom of her depression. My mother's mental illness is not mine and having a relationship with her puts me in a deeply depressed state. Why would anyone inflict this on themselves. She sent me an email saying that she loved me and wanted to talk to me. I cannot and will not respond. She does not understand that her words have meaning and consequences. I know that Chanteuse may have harsh words for me, and Synge as well, but this is how I feel. I am saddened that it has come to this, but I am will not play the role of her emotional punching bag anymore. I have not been sleeping or eating for months and it is, in part, because of the anxiety she has caused me. I elect to stop it.

Finally, I found pictures of The Daft Punk online pleasuring himself. My favorite part, though, is the ad that accompanies the pictures. It says, "I'm LTR (long term relationship) oriented." Obviously. Nothing like a shot of your penis hanging out of a pair of gym shorts to say "You can bring me home to mom." For those who are interested, I'd be more than happy to forward a link.