The one where I wax about Vixanne

Ok. So my last post wasn't intended to be about Synge, but I had to explain where the name Mr. Artsy Hotpants came from and well, I just sort of went off. But, I meant everything I said about her. In the ineterest of equal time and so I can give you, dear reader, a sense of the people in my life, this post is dedicated to Vixanne. After this one, I swear, I'll get on to discussing more pressing things like Project Runway (the best TV show ever), and my upcoming weekend in Chicago.

I have been friends with Vixanne for 14 years. Jesus! We met in high school. I thought she dressed neat. She exceled at something I didn't, which was writing. I thought she was the coolest. I mistook that for burgeoning love which was confessed in a Hardee's Drive Thru (no need to relive the event- those reading this already know the details). We were inseperable for years. There was a time in college where we weren't so close, but I don't remember a whole lot about that time. Gosh, I keep writing that I don't remember so much about my college years that it makes me sound like a complete stoner or drunk. I was neither. Just boy crazy.

Vixanne knows absolutely everything about me. Everything. She knows me better than anyone except maybe my mother. And though she doesn't like to hear it, I know her. It's weird. I think we have this intuitive understanding of each other that we never talk about but has actually grown deeper over the years. We have a bond that is difficult to verbalize, but it's comfortable and valued and reassuring and sometimes a pain in the ass. It isn't always fun to have someone in your life who can call you on your shit all the time and be right about it almost all the time.

I love Vixanne becuase I can tell her anything and always know that she'll judge it. People who say they don't judge are so full of shit. I love Vixanne because she snagged just about the best man on the planet and she deserved it. Given her history with men, I actually find this feat truly amazing! I love Vixanne because she looks at the world through the same jaded lense I do. And she laughs about it. I love Vixanne becuase she still believes the world is full of possibility. But I guess I love Vixanne the most, because I never doubt for a second that she always has my back (that makes her sound like a badass which she is definitely not). I don't know how you can go through life otherwise.

Vixanne has been going through some serious stuff recently. Grown up shit. Adult problems. Stuff that when she told me about it, I was embarrassed to ask myself, "How does one be a grown up friend?" Her baby died. Is that right? Is that the proper way to say it? I find I can't ask her these things. Dealing with this is a huge leap from discussing how long H&M clothes really last and the morality of the latest outcast from Survivor Vanuatu. When she told me, I cried. I never, ever cry. So what do I do? How does one be a grown up friend? I guess I'm just me. I listen. I talk. I make jokes. And for now, I hope, that seems to be enough.