The one that is my first

As I write this, my first post, I keep hearing these lines from Gypsy "Here she is boys. Here she is world..." then, I like to add, Mr. Artsy Hotpants. It's strange putting yourself out here like this and it's even stranger for me as those who know me can attest, a quick witticism and a flip aside are always preferred over discussing emotions or anything that would show even the slightest bit of my vulnerability. But it's a new year and maybe I should get more in touch with my inner self, turn over a new leaf, as they say, and see what I find.

I was dubbed Mr. Artsy Hotpants by my dear friend Synge. Synge is someone who I sort of knew in high school. We were in the same group, I guess, but I never considered her a close friend or anything. We then went to college together, for a short time at least, I think. Those years are such a blur to me. Then, we fell completely out of touch. A little over a year ago, she moved to NYC. I called her, because I didn't know if she knew anybody, and she came over for dinner. I remember that night vividly, and I remember wondering why did I never actually talk to her before. I mean really talk. Or did I and just couldn't remember.

We've become good friends and I admire her tremendously. One night recently, we were walking in Union Square and I looked at her and noticed two things. One, she is indescribably beautiful. I don't know if it was her hair, or the way the cold air kind of illuminated her face or the green coat she wears that I love. The other thing I noticed or, should I say, occured to me, is that she has this incredible sense of who she is. In a way, it seemed tangible, like anybody who got close to her would know this instantly. Was it her walk? The way her boots pounded the sidewalk like an emphatic yes. The way her jewelry seemed to wear her, like her ring winking out from behind her cigarette proud to show off whose hand she was adorning. Did anyone else see this?

For a person who doesn't have that same sense of self, a revelation that someone does can really knock you on your ass. She might not know where she is going, but if you asked her right now who she is, I have no doubt she could tell you. In detail. And it would be eloquent and thoughtful. And true. And I think that's pretty cool.